


Faded

by timesturners



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Hallucinations, Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 00:40:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5519150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timesturners/pseuds/timesturners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of what really happened after the Dean possessed Laura.</p><p>Takes place after Season 1 Episode 32.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faded

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this post on tumblr about a year ago about Laura not going back to normal after the Dean possessed her, and I came up with this idea. I'm sorry I couldn't find the post later. Also thanks to [Ida](http://peggy-martinelli-carter.tumblr.com) for brainstorming when this whole idea first started. And thanks to everyone else who showed even the tiniest bit of support. Anyhow, enjoy!

“Catch,” the Dean said before she smoothly took the necklace off. Laura’s body fell lifelessly towards the bed. Carmilla caught her lightly around the waist in one swift move and slowly let the smaller girl’s body down on the bed. 

“Laura! Laura! Hey!” Carmilla whispered softly. Laura’s eyes fluttered open, and she sat up slowly.

“Carm, what the…?” she groaned and held a hand to her head. 

“Hey, you’re fine,” Carmilla said softly and stroked Laura’s hair. Her face was filled with worry as she looked for any clues that might indicate she wasn’t back to normal.

**********

“And apparently my video cache is full from a giant RAW file from… Wednesday. But that should just be...” Laura frowned and tried to remember what exactly that would mean. Her frown deepened. Wednesday, Wednesday. She hadn’t made a video on Wednesday had she? With a click on the mouse button the video started. 

“Hello, sweetheart. I thought it was time we had a little talk.” 

Laura’s eyes widened in disbelief. 

**********

Laura woke up to the sun shining through the window. She let out a tired groan and hid her face in her yellow pillow. The room felt eerily silent. No sound of any movement. No breathing except her own. 

Sluggishly Laura pulled her head up from the pillow and looked over at the other bed. The bed was empty and neatly made. The bathroom door was open, and the lights turned off. 

Her head suddenly whipped back to the other bed, and she blinked once to make sure she was really seeing what she thought she saw. The bed was made. She couldn’t even remember the last time the bed was made, or, as she noticed when she scanned the room further, the last time the floor was free of clothes. 

Laura sat fully up now. Was she dreaming? Had Carmilla suddenly had an intervention about room cleaning? Why hadn’t she been invited? Laura actually felt a bit offended about that. If someone should have been invited to a _Carmilla-clean-up-your-room_ -intervention it should have been her. She was the one who had to live with it!

The door was suddenly thrown open and a tall blonde walked into the room. Laura’s mouth instantly fell to the floor. She was really starting to wonder if this was all just some weird dream.

“Ah, you’re awake. I still think staying in bed till noon is a bit overboard, but Perry nearly demanded I let you sleep in.” The girl turned on the lights and stalked over to the sink.

“B-Betty? What are you doing here?” 

Betty send Laura a weird look.

“I told you I wasn’t getting transferred until Thursday.” Laura only stared at her with her mouth open. “You did hear me when I said that, right? God, did you even listen to a word I said?”

Laura closed her mouth and then opened it again as if trying to say something, but no words came. 

“Anyway, I think you should try and find Perry and LaFontaine. They’re worried sick. I don’t really know why they’re making such a big deal of all of this,” Betty said as she picked up a fresh, red apple from the counter. She took a big bite, before she stalked out of the room again and left a bewildered Laura behind. 

Laura stayed like that, staring at the door with her mouth open, for another minute or two, before she slowly shook her head and slid out of her bed. 

**~~~**

LaFontaine and Perry had been sitting on the same bed, talking quietly, when Laura stepped out of the bathroom with her hair in a towel. LaFontaine squeezed their hands together and looked up at Laura.

“Hey, we heard you were awake. How are you feeling?” they asked worriedly. 

“Ehm good, the shower really helped and I had a good night’s rest.” She offered them both a small smile, and Perry returned it kindly.

“That’s good. Very good,” Perry exclaimed and clapped her hands together. 

Laura’s smile widened at Perry’s enthusiasm, before she looked over at LaFontaine again and her smile fell. 

“Wait, you aren’t talking about parties anymore, and your hands aren’t bound. What happened? Did they just decide not to have the ritual after all? Oh! Maybe they couldn’t find anyone else, so they were unable to do it. That would explain Betty! Is that where Carmilla went, to buy some of her really expensive champagne?”

LaFontaine and Perry exchanged a look. “Laura, sweetheart, what are you talking about?”

“Well, Carmilla would usually still be in bed sleeping around this time of the day. Probably complain about all the noise we’re making. So there must be a reason why she’s out. And Betty’s back and you’re back to normal,” Laura said and nodded towards LaFontaine. 

They both stared open-mouthed at Laura, and she started to feel a bit self-conscious. LaFontaine turned and whispered something to Perry. Laura frowned lightly as she picked up one of the words, sounding like “denial”. Perry nodded solemnly and looked over at Laura again.

“Would you like something to eat?” 

Laura was a bit thrown off by the change of subject, but nodded timidly. “Yeah, that’d be nice, thanks.”

**********

The sun was shining brightly on the brown and orange leaves covering the ground in front of the dorm. Laura watched the naked trees bend under the force of the wind, but she couldn’t seem to enjoy the view from her dorm room. She let out a shaky breath and looked at her untouched cereal. 

They had won. They really had. But at the cost of Carmilla. Carmilla was supposed to be here, lying in her bed, complaining about something or another. Not lying dead somewhere. They hadn’t even found her body. 

The door to her room opened slowly and LaFontaine poked through. 

“Your cereal is getting soggy,” they noted as they looked at the mess in Laura’s bowl. 

“I fear it’s a bit too late for that,” she mumbled and put the bowl aside. 

**********

Laura leaned against the wall and stared out of the window. She held a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. The door opened slowly and LaFontaine walked in. They looked over at Laura with concern etched onto their face.

“How are you feeling?”

Laura shrugged. “All right.”

They nodded and slowly sat down on Laura’s bed. 

Laura was staring back out of the window, and they sat in silence for a while. Laura looked at LaFontaine and frowned. 

“Where’s Carmilla?”

LaFontaine looked confused up from her clasped hands. “Laura, I don’t think this is really the right time for deep conversations?”

“Deep conversations? I was just- I just can’t remember if she said she was going out tonight or not.”

LaFontaine’s mouth fell open and they gaped at her. Laura self-consciously shifted her weight from one leg to the other. 

“What? Is it weird of me to hope she would at least have told me if she was going out for the night? Not that I’ve been waiting for her to return or whatever. She just hasn’t been away that often anymore, you know. And I…” Laura took a deep breath and looked down at her mug. “I-I sort of feel safer when she’s- when someone’s here…”

LaFontaine stood up and looked concerned at their friend. 

“Laura, are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sure. I’m totally fine,” she said with a small, tight smile and lightly waved it off with her hand, clearly avoiding eye contact. 

“I could probably get you some sleeping tablets if you want?”

Laura just shook her head. “I’ll manage. Really. But thanks for the offer.”

LaFontaine sighed. “Seriously Laura, you don’t sound all right. You can tell me, ok?” 

Laura seemed conflicted for a moment, before nodding slowly. She sat down on her bed and looked at her mug again.

“I-I’ve been having really bad nightmares the last couple of days…”

**********

Laura was lying in bed, huddled under her duvet. She felt the weight of the bed shift as LaFontaine sat down at the edge of her bed. They stroked her hair and brought a plate of home baked cookies in front of her face. Laura slowly picked one up and gave them a small smile of gratitude. 

“Is it the nightmares or…” they hesitated for a short second, “Carmilla?”

“Both,” Laura answered weakly, starring at the wall. Her eyes suddenly looked over at LaFontaine. “How did you know about the nightmares?”

“You told me last night…” 

Laura’s brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to remember. “I did?”

“Yeah, you did.”

**********

They pulled away from each other. Carmilla’s face was filled with awe as she stared at the other girl. She cupped Laura’s face before letting her hand slide lightly down Laura’s arms. 

“So, you’re a giant black cat, huh?” Laura rambled out.

Carmilla tried to hold back a smile, but soon found her mouth curve open and she let out a small laugh. Like a chain reaction, Laura’s face broke into a smile as well. Carmilla’s smile was filled with so much joy, and it was the most beautiful thing Laura had ever seen. She tried to capture this moment in her head. To imprint this image at the back of her eyelids. To make sure she would remember this moment until she was old and grey. She would remember this moment, the glow on Carmilla’s face, until death.

**********

Carmilla shook Laura’s shoulder lightly.

“Hey, Laura, hey. Wake up.”

The younger girl woke with a shock, her breath shallow and weak. She looked up at Carmilla with big, brown eyes, and Carmilla could see fear there. Not fear for her, but fear for something else. 

“Are the dreams back?” Carmilla asked worriedly and sat down at the end of the bed. Laura shook her head.

“No, no… It’s not… It’s not that,” she said weakly, and took a deep breath before continuing: “It’s just normal nightmares. Everyone has them from time to time…” She tried to put up a brave face and smiled weakly at the dark haired girl. Carmilla wasn’t totally convinced. 

“You sure? I could probably make one of those bracelets again.” Laura placed her hand over Carmilla’s. 

“I’m sure.”

**********

Laura sat between Carmilla’s legs while Carmilla’s head was resting on top of Laura’s. Laura’s laptop, which was situated on top of her legs, was playing an episode of Doctor Who. 

Carmilla gasped at the screen. No matter how much she made fun of the show, she actually really enjoyed watching it. Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish’ and she looked down at Laura’s face to read her reaction. To Carmilla’s shock, no real emotion crossed the other girl’s features. 

“How can you just sit there like that?! I mean I know you’ve seen this before, but really how doesn’t that affect you?!” Carmilla burst out. 

Laura blinked a couple of times and shook her head as if trying to get rid of something. 

“Hmm?” she asked and looked into Carmilla’s face. Carmilla paused the stream. 

“Are you even watching anymore?” 

Laura looked back to the screen. “I-I must have spaced out, sorry.”

Carmilla took the younger girl’s hand and looked down at her with a concerned. Laura was always super enthusiastic when watching Doctor Who. 

“Is everything ok?” she asked softly.

Laura nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah. I guess I’m just a bit tired. I… haven’t gotten much sleep lately.”

“Still nightmares?”

Laura nodded again, and Carmilla put the laptop away before pulling her closer to her chest. She took Laura’s hand and gently stoked her knuckles. 

“I’m here, ok?”

Laura hid her face in the crook of Carmilla’s neck, and seemed to cling to Carmilla’s neck. They stayed like that until Laura’s breath evened out. 

Carmilla’s hand made smooth circles between Laura’s shoulder blades, and she placed a long, lingering kiss on top of her light brown hair. 

**********

There were hundreds of footprints in the snow. The snow was a mess and reached the students to the middle of their shins. Snowballs were flying through the sky and either made new holes in the newly fallen snow, or ended up as wet spots on someone’s clothing. The students were wearing different colours to indicate different teams, but no one seemed to follow that anymore. 

A snowball hit the window of room 307. 

“Nice hit, Laura,” Danny said as she slid behind the snow wall next to Laura. 

Laura turned around towards the tall ginger. “Thanks. I’m trying to make Carmilla come outside, but alas…”

“And you think throwing snowballs at your window will help with that?”

Laura shrugged. “I mean, she has to be curious what it is in the end, right?” Laura grabbed some more snow and swiftly made a new snowball. She aimed at the window again, and her whole body flew forward as she threw the snowball. She took a few staggering steps to regain her balance, before looking up at the window and seeing a white spot on the lower left side of the window.

“Maybe I should try and help?” Danny offered and started making a snowball of her own. 

Right in that moment the window opened and Carmilla’s head peeped out. 

“What’s going on out th-” Carmilla was interrupted by a snowball hitting her head.

“Bull’s eye!” Danny exclaimed and she did a fist bump. Carmilla’s head whipped towards Danny, a scowl plastered on her face. 

Laura looked hopefully up at Carmilla. “Do you want to join?” 

Laura saw one dark-haired eyebrow rise against Carmilla’s pale skin. “Please?” Laura pleaded. 

Carmilla sighed, and Laura barely heard a “fine” before the window closed. 

Danny held a new snowball in her hands. “How about we ambush her at the door?” Danny proposed. Laura thought about it for a second before agreeing. A grin spread across Danny’s face. “Great! So I’ll come from the left and you’ll come from the right, sounds good?”

Laura nodded and bent down to make another snowball.

**~~~**

A hand lightly touched Laura’s shoulder and she jolted back to life. She turned around warily and looked into Danny’s face.

“Laura, are you okay?” Danny asked.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Laura asked confused. 

“Well, you haven’t moved since I left you,” Danny pointed out. “I thought you agreed.”

Laura frowned. “Agreed on what?”

“Giving Carmilla a, well, ‘cold’ welcome,” Danny said as a grin slowly started to spread across her face at the thought. 

Confusion was embed into Laura’s face for a moment as she tried to remember when she had agreed. She noticed Danny’s face starting to tighten in worry. Laura quickly put on a smile. 

“Yeah, of course. I just got… ehm… distracted that’s all.” 

Danny nodded, a grin firmly back in place, and held up her snowball. “Ready?”

Laura looked down at the half-made snowball in her hands. “Yeah…”

**********

The sun had just risen and the sky was a hue of pink and orange. Carmilla groaned as she slowly, but surely, woke up. She stretched her arms above her head and looked around. Laura’s bed was empty and nearly looked untouched. The bathroom door stood halfway open. Carmilla turned around and spotted Laura sitting in the windowsill. Carmilla took in the sight for a minute. 

Laura had put her hair in a ponytail and her legs were drawn to her chest. She was staring out the window. Looking at the small crystals shining in the snow down on the ground below. 

“You’re up early, morning bird,” Carmilla stated after a while. 

Laura turned towards her. “Oh, I haven’t gotten up,” she answered casually. 

Carmilla’s eyebrows rose. “You haven’t slept?”

Laura’s eyes widened at the realisation of her own words. “Ehm… I’ve… ehm… been studying.”

Carmilla didn’t seem hundred percent convinced but only answered with a short “oh” before getting out of bed.

“Want some coffee?” Carmilla asked as she poured some for herself.

Laura seemed like she was about to shake her head, but quickly changed her mind and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Carmilla gave one of the cups to Laura, who took the cup in one of her hands and intertwined her little finger with Carmilla’s. 

Carmilla barely managed to hear the small “thank you” from under Laura’s breath. She gave Laura a smile before pulling her close and leaving a soft kiss on her forehead. 

**********

Laura was walking towards her Lit class. A bag thrown over her shoulder, and a faraway look on her face. She took a left turn and stepped into her classroom. Her eyes skimmed the room before she started going towards her seat. Her eyes landed on one of the students at the back of the classroom, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes dilated and her breath quickened. 

It looked like someone with a big mouth had bitten away some of the flesh on the students right arm. Her face was hollowed out, and the left side of her face seemed to fall apart. It looked like someone has pulled out half her hair, and her lips were destroyed. 

The student’s glazed-over eyes met Laura’s and the student made a gargling noise in the back of her throat. Laura could feel the pounding of her heart, and she looked at her other classmates to see if any of them were seeing what she saw. 

The sighted that followed made Laura take a step back. The room had somehow become darker and the atmosphere in the classroom had changed completely. A student lay face down on his desk. A torn off arm lay in a puddle of blood beside him. 

On the other side of the classroom, someone was holding a chainsaw in the air while wearing a hockey mask. Another student was laying on the floor in a dirty nightdress, slowly crawling towards Laura. The student’s eyes were black holes and a stark contrast compared to the ghostly colour of their skin. 

Laura closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. This was all a nightmare, she would just have to wake up and she would lay in her bed with Carmilla just next to her. She’d actually started to getting a hang of it, waking up on her own accord and usually as silently as possible to not wake up the sleeping vampire next to her. 

She managed to slow down her breathing and beating heart a little, and felt herself calm down. 

Laura opened her eyes again. Before her stood a woman she swore hadn’t been there before. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a ripped, turquoise shirt. She had a wound on the right side of her head and the hair around was smeared with blood. 

Laura took in the woman’s face. No, no, no. She was supposed to have woken up. That’s always how it worked. This wasn’t supposed to happen. 

Laura’s heart beat as if she just finished an intense running session. A tear slipped down her cheek and she took one step towards the woman. 

“Mum?” Laura croaked out. The woman gave her a small smile, but stayed silent. “Mum, what’s happening? Why can’t I wake up? Why can’t I have _one_ night of good sleep anymore?” 

Laura took in the silent figure of her mother. She looked exactly like she did right after the accident, except now with life in her eyes. Eyes sad with pity a as they regarded their grown daughter. 

Something seemed to dawn for Laura. “I’m not sleeping, am I?” Her mother bowed her head, and Laura wrapped her right arm hard around her own waist while she hid her mouth with the other. 

“Oh God, what’s happening to me?” she whispered, her cheeks wet with silent tears. She slid down to the floor and clutched her head between her hands. 

“What’s happening to me?!” she repeated, this time shouting it towards her mother, hoping she might have an answer. 

Laura started mumbling incoherent sentences under her breath as she slowly rocked back and forth. She thought she might have heard someone walking behind her, but how would she know? Apparently she couldn’t even tell dreams from reality anymore.

Someone touched her shoulder. For one split second, she thought it might have been her mother, but when she looked up, she was looking at Danny. 

“Laura, are you ok?” Danny asked and gave her a concerned look.

“I…” Laura blinked twice and looked around the classroom. Everything was as it should be. Some students were sleeping at their desks, while others had turned 180 degrees in their seat to talk to the person behind them. 

Laura turned back towards Danny and locked her jaw. “Yeah, I’m-I’m fine. Why?”

“Nothing, you just looked a bit…” Danny shook her head. “Let’s just get seated for class.”

**********

LaFontaine strode into the room and took in Laura’s figure. She was sitting on her bed with her back towards the door, head bowed and its sounded like she was whispering something to herself under her breath.

“Hey Laura, what are you up to?” LaFontaine asked as they dropped themselves onto Laura’s office chair. 

Laura didn’t even look in their direction or show any indication that she’d heard them. Instead, she just kept staring straight down at the book in her lap and continued to mumble incoherently. LaFontaine rolled the chair so they were positioned right next to Laura and snapped their fingers in front of her face.

“Anyone home in there?” Laura shook her head as if trying to clear it and blinked a few times before she looked at LaFontaine.

“Huh? Oh hi LaF,” Laura said with a weak smile.

“What are you up to?” LaFontaine tried again.

Laura looked down at the book in her lap and seemed to be thinking for a moment. Her eyes widened for a bit before she looked back at LaFontaine.

“Eh… I was just… Ehm… Doing Latin,” Laura stammered, “You know, alpha, beta, omega… Zeta…”

“I didn’t know you took Latin,” LaFontaine mused. They were pretty sure they had never heard Laura mention anything about Latin. Which was strange, because Laura had probably mentioned all her other subjects like 50 times each. 

“Well… Now you know,” Laura quickly closed the book in her lap and dropped it into her bag. She then turned her whole body towards LaFontaine. “So what’s up?”

“The ceiling,” LaFontaine responded with a grin.

**~~~**

Carmilla sat in the library reading a book when LaFontaine sat down next to her.

“Did you know Laura takes Latin” they asked as soon as they were seated.

“Laura doesn’t take Latin,” Carmilla pointed out without looking up from her book.

“Are you sure? Because Laura just told me she does. She even gave me examples like zeta, and omega, and alpha.”

Now Carmilla looked up at LaFontaine and raised her eyebrow. “That’s Greek.”

**~~~**

“I didn’t know you took Latin.”

Laura sent Carmilla a confused look, “I... don’t?”

“Really? Because your little science buddy told me, that you told them, that you were taking Latin.”

Laura racked her brain to try and place the accusation, “When exactly did I do that?”

“I guess earlier today,” Carmilla said and shrugged. 

**********

The door to the dorm room opened, and Perry walked through. She took a quick glance at the room.

“You should really consider cleaning, it’s a total mess in here,” she burst out as her eyes landed on Laura.

Laura looked up from her book, and frowned.

“Excuse me?” she said offended. “Who are you to just burst in here and complain about the state of our room?” 

Perry seemed to be taken aback by Laura’s harsh tone. She had often comment on the state of Laura and Carmilla’s room. Carmilla had always replied with a biting remark, but Laura had always taken it easy with a small nod and actually tried to do something about the mess. 

“Laura, are you alright?” Perry asked concerned. Laura’s features seemed to soften a bit and she looked down in embarrassment. 

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t…” Laura let out a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that… I’m just kind of stressed with all these papers due. Which, I should get back to by the way.” Laura frowned slightly. “Thanks for… stopping by, I guess,” she said uncertainly before looking back at her book.

Perry stood stuck on the spot for a moment, before realising that that was her cue to leave. Laura’s voice stopped her as she was about to step out of the room. 

“But honestly, it’s not very polite to complain about someone else’s room. Just for future reference.”

**********

The hallway was empty, and the lights were off. A dripping sound came from Laura’s left. She slowly turned towards the sound. A red liquor was dripping from the roof to the ground. Laura’s first thought was “blood”, but on a second thought, it was probably a new substance the Alchemist Club was working on. Yes, that had to be it. Why they had to make it look like blood, she didn’t know.

Laura continued down the hallway. Her footsteps echoed against the walls.

Something black flew past her and she quickly turned around to look at its shadow disappear. 

Laura frowned slightly, before she turned back around and continued her way forward. She only managed to take one step however, before a whole flock of crows came flying towards her. 

She instinctively covered her head with her arms. She felt the claws scratch at her arms. Something was pulling at her hair. She felt three sharp claws scratch open the skin on her left arm. A hiccup left her mouth. Tears were filling her eyes, and the soaring pain in her arm just wouldn’t stop. Sharp nebs started pulling at her shirt and poked holes in her pants. A pair of claws grabbed around her right wrist, and the caws started to sound like harsh “Laura”s. Her arm was pulled away from her face. 

More voices came into focus and the one saying her name lost the harsh cawing sound, and was replaced by as soft, tender voice.

Laura slowly opened her eyes and let the other arm fall to her side. Around her, the hallway was buzzing with people. People standing in groups. People rushing around in a hurry. People yelling at one another. People. 

She let out a shaky breath, before she slowly turned her head towards the person holding her hand and saying her name. Brown eyes met darker ones. 

“Laura, are you okay?” Carmilla asked softly.

Laura looked down at her left arm and her clothes, which all seemed to be untouched. She used her free hand to wipe her eyes, before nodding. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m totally fine. Really, it was nothing,” she said and tried to smile bravely at her girlfriend.

Concern crossed Carmilla’s features. She looked Laura up and down once, before she wrapped her arms around her and held her close. 

**********

Camilla woke up from Laura’s screams. Her eyes snapped open and her head quickly turned towards the trashing girl next to her. She quickly sat up. 

“Hey, Laura, wake up.” Carmilla lightly shook Laura’s shoulder. 

Laura woke up with a sharp intake of breath. Her wide eyes were filled with fear as they scanned the room. Her heavy breathing started to slow down. At last, her eyes stopped on Carmilla’s face. Carmilla’s hand still rested on Laura’s upper arm. Laura slowly pulled away from her light grip. 

Her gaze rested on Carmilla’s hand for a moment, before it returned to her face. “Do I… Do I know you?” Laura asked confused. 

Carmilla’s face slacked. “What do you mean; do I know you?” 

Laura’s eyes swept over the room, and landed on the bed on the other side of the room. “I…” Her eyes drifted back to Carmilla. “I’m… I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Don’t worry about it, cupcake,” Carmilla said while she started to move closer to Laura, before she seemed to think twice about it and leaned away again.

Laura looked down at her fidgeting fingers. She let out a deep, shaky breath before looking up again. Her gaze trying to focus on anything but the girl in front of her, in the end it landed on the bathroom door. 

“I’m… ehm… going to let you get back to sleep and I’ll just…” she pointed a finger towards the door, “ehm… go in there.” She slipped out bed and hurried inside the bathroom, not meeting Carmilla’s eyes once before closing the door. 

Carmilla let out a sigh, before slowly getting up and following her. She knocked on the door before opening it a crack. Laura was standing by the sink, her head bowed and watching the water flow. 

“Hey,” Carmilla said softly. 

Laura glanced quickly up in her direction before looking back at the water. 

“I told you, you can just go back to sleep.”

Carmilla opened the door wider and leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” she asked while looking down at her feet. 

Laura pushed herself away from the sink and turned it off. She took a deep breath and turned to face Carmilla.

“This is probably a really stupid and- and weird question,” Laura said with a shaky voice. “But you’re my roommate, right?”

Carmilla pushed herself from the wall with her shoulder, a slight frown on her face as she took a step closer. 

“Of course I am. Betty left weeks ago, you know that.”

Laura suddenly looked very confused, not understanding how Betty-someone had anything to do with this.

“Who’s Betty?”

Carmilla’s eyes widened. 

“Who’s- Who’s Betty?” she echoed. She let out a small, hollow laugh and looked up at the ceiling. “She’s basically the one who started all of this.” Carmilla threw her hands out as to show Laura what she meant. “Well sort of at least,” she added under her breath. 

“Started all of this? You mean she started Silas University?” 

“Cutie, this really isn’t the time to be playing games. It’s late, can we just… go back to bed, please.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Laura said quickly and headed out of the door. Carmilla let her pass before following. 

“Sorry for keeping you up,” Laura continued. “I just- I felt bad, since you were so kind to me, and clearly my roommate, and I couldn’t even remember your name…”

Carmilla froze. 

“What?” she breathed. 

**********

“Why do you never smile?” Laura asked as she studied the dark haired girl. 

“There isn’t a lot to smile about nowadays,” Carmilla mumbled and kept her eyes on the sandwich she was making. 

Laura frowned. “I’ve never seen you smile before.”

The knife in Carmilla’s left hand clattered to the ground. Her fists clenched and she took one deep breath. Witch a few quick moves, Carmilla threw the sandwich together and placed it on a plate. 

“Here’s your sandwich. Make sure you eat it,” she quickly instructed, before grabbing her coat and leaving the room. 

It pained her to leave Laura all by herself, but she just couldn’t stay in the room anymore.

**********

LaFontaine slowly walked into the room and took in the environment. Not so surprisingly, Carmilla was nowhere to be seen. They’d seen less and less of her around and it really started to worry them, but right now the girl on the bed was their main concern. 

Laura was sitting cross-legged on her bed, facing the wall. She was mumbling something under her breath, and she held her blanket so tightly in her hands, her knuckles were turning white. 

“Laura?” LaFontaine said uncertainly as they took a step closer. Laura showed no indication that she’d heard them and they took the final steps to the bed. 

“Laura?” They tried again and they reached for Laura’s hand. Laura’s head whipped around in their direction as soon as their hands touched. They stood like that for a moment, none of them moving. LaFontaine started to become hopeful. Maybe they’d finally managed to reach her, maybe some part of the old Laura was still there. 

Then Laura scrambled away from them until her back hit the wall. 

“Laura! Laura! Take it easy!” LaFontaine reach out to her again to try to calm her down. Laura let out a scream at the movement and started trashing. Her arms waved around. She started kicking in LaFontaine’s direction. One kick hit them in the stomach. They let out a groan, but managed to catch Laura’s hands and still their movement. 

Laura stopped moving. Her breathing was quick and laboured. LaFontaine studied her. She was looking in their direction. Her eyes were out of focus and watering. She looked so scared and vulnerable. It broke their heart that they hadn’t been able to find a way to help her yet. 

LaFontaine let go of her hands and took a step back. They stood there, at loss. It pained them to see their friend so hurt. 

With a lot of noise, Carmilla barged in the room. She spared them a quick glance before her attention turned solely on Laura. She took in the small, scared figure on the bed. She walked over to Laura with slow, gentle steps, before she crouched down in front of her. 

Carmilla took Laura’s face in her hands and wiped away a tear that was falling down her cheek. She started to whisper soothing words to Laura. Laura had gone back to mumbling incoherently to herself. Her gaze flickered around the room, without truly settling on anything.

LaFontaine, who felt they were interrupting something, shuffled towards the door. They gave them one last look. They were so broken, both of them, and they didn’t know how to help them. 

**********

Her eyes were glassy and fixed on some unknown point in the room. No matter what she did, those chestnut coloured eyes would never focus on her, not anymore. Actually, those deep brown eyes wouldn’t focus on anything anymore. Some might say they resembled glass, put she would never put it like that. She’d known those eyes when they were still full of life and joy. No, she didn’t think they resembled glass. They were like _shattered_ glass.

**********

She’d been sitting in on her bed for weeks now, not recognizing anything around her. Sometimes she screamed, sometimes she didn’t. Sometimes she mumbled, sometimes she was dead silent. And sometimes, on rare occasions and in short periods of times, she seemed like herself again.

**********

Laura’s eyes stared straight ahead, as they did most of the time. She sat on her bed with her back against the wall, with her legs pulled to her chest. Carmilla slowly sat down on the bed, porridge in hand. 

“Hey, Laura, lunch is here,” she said softly, not sure if the other girl could even hear her. She brought a spoon of porridge up to Laura’s mouth and poked it gently against her lips. Laura’s mouth fell open to let Carmilla feed her. 

Laura swallowed and her eyes flicked around the room for a moment, before they seemed to stop on Carmilla. Carmilla’s breath hitched. She looked into Laura’s eyes and her shoulders slumped. Those dark brown eyes might look in her direction, but they were still unfocused. 

Carmilla looked down at the bowl of porridge. Her hand clenched around the spoon and she took a deep breath. She hated this feeling. The fleeting feeling of hope, just to have it crushed a second later. 

Carmilla brought a new load of porridge up to Laura’s mouth. Her hand froze when there came a whisper. Her eyes widened when Laura’s lips parted again.

“Carm…”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at [baumanselise](http://baumanselise.tumblr.com) on tumblr and at [timesturners](http://twitter.com/timesturners) on twitter :))


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